Like everything else about your wedding, honeymoon destinations and length of time you spend will largely be determined by budget. You may have set the budget for the honeymoon at the same time as the wedding, or you may be budgeting it separately. Either way, there should be a budget and ultimately your decisions will be determined by it.
That said, who does get to choose the destination for the honeymoon?
In my opinion, this is a joint decision. It’s a special time for both of you; time to relax after the frenzy of the wedding, time to spend some time alone and do some couples bonding. The choice for where to go for a honeymoon and what to do while you’re there is one that should provide the maximum amount of relaxation and pleasure for both of you.
One of you may have less interest in the details than the other. If you’re okay with doing most or all of the honeymoon planning yourself, make sure your partner really means it when he or she says, “I don’t care, you decide” – then take their word on it and make the choice yourself. There’s no time like the present to start learning to accept that you each have your own interests.
And if you’re reading this and thinking you’re the one who would say, “I don’t care, you decide,” my advice is to try and take SOME interest in the process. The two of you will be making a lot of decisions together over the years, and most of them will be much more important than where to go and what to do on your honeymoon. Crawl before you walk; in other words, start working together on the little things. Trust me, it will make it much easier for you to work together when the really tough decisions have to be made.
Even if one of you has less interest in where you go and what you do, try to be mindful of the things you’ve found in common during your courtship and use that knowledge when it comes to your honeymoon. Will both of you be happy lounging about on white sand while watching a tropical sunset? Or is one of you likely to suffer second-degree burns the first day, then spend the rest of the trip bathing in aloe vera?
Do you even have to have a honeymoon?
No, not really. American customs have changed significantly over the last 20 years. The honeymoon was traditionally not just a continuation of the celebration of their marriage, but the last time they could predictably be alone together before starting a family. People are marrying later in life, starting their families later in the marriage, and most couples go into a marriage with two incomes. Like everything else involved in a wedding, it’s just a tradition, not a rule.